Brain Damage is about Brian, is a normal kid living in the city. He has a great girlfriend, his roommate is his brother and his life is normal.
The is until a purple slug shaped like a penis sneaks into his room. The slug's mouth expands like a snake and sticks a needle into Brian's brain, causing him to hallucinate and have weird dreams by sticking blue liquid inside him.
The slug's name is Alymer, and he got to Brian by escaping an old couple's apartment who fem him animal brains and put him in water to keep him weak. Alymer squirts blue liquid to get Brian's brain addicted to it. Get it? They are almost the same word? Anyways, Alymer does so that he can use Brain to eat other people's brains of course!
So Brian goes on acid trips and leads Alymer is unsuspecting people to consume their brains. Brian tries to stop, but relaizes he is addicted to the blue liquid. Oh, and of course Alymer talks and sounds like a British cartoon character.
Another cult classic of bad movies, "Brain Damage" is full of ridiculous death scenes, including a moment when a girl goes down on Brian in an alley, and Alymer jumps out of his zipper. Fantastic. Also ridiculous is a random scene where a really buff guy takes a shower for about 20 minutes, it really makes no sense.
The film has awful special effects and even worse acting, but there is the usual gore, sex and mayhem like any other bad movie. It's worth the watch.
Saturday, June 16, 2007
Troll 2
The Waits are going on a family vacation. But instead of beautiful Hawaii or Florida, they decide to house-sit in a small town called Nilbog. Yup, that's goblin spelled backwards - not troll, goblin.
The Waits settle in, and Joshua, the young boy of the family, is suspicious of the town. This is because his deceased Grandpa Seth keeps coming alive to give him advice and save him.
The town ends up being full of goblins, who encourage tourists todrink their chunky milk and eat their green food. If humans eat or drink Nilbog's delicacies, they become the goblin's food. But, what food? Well, half-human/half-tree food of course.
Hunger pains, popcorn and weird witches are roadblocks for the Waits, but they eventually learn they have to defeat the goblins at a mini-stonehedge by touching it and thinking happy thoughts. I guess it is like a really demented Peter Pan.
The movie is beyond bad. The dialogue is simply ridiculous. Watch for the scene in which the dad yells at Joshua for urinating on the food so his family doesn't become goblin food. The acting is awful, and it is just one of those movies that is so bad you want to watch it again and again.
Oh, and by the way, the word troll is never mentioned in the movie.
The Waits settle in, and Joshua, the young boy of the family, is suspicious of the town. This is because his deceased Grandpa Seth keeps coming alive to give him advice and save him.
The town ends up being full of goblins, who encourage tourists todrink their chunky milk and eat their green food. If humans eat or drink Nilbog's delicacies, they become the goblin's food. But, what food? Well, half-human/half-tree food of course.
Hunger pains, popcorn and weird witches are roadblocks for the Waits, but they eventually learn they have to defeat the goblins at a mini-stonehedge by touching it and thinking happy thoughts. I guess it is like a really demented Peter Pan.
The movie is beyond bad. The dialogue is simply ridiculous. Watch for the scene in which the dad yells at Joshua for urinating on the food so his family doesn't become goblin food. The acting is awful, and it is just one of those movies that is so bad you want to watch it again and again.
Oh, and by the way, the word troll is never mentioned in the movie.
Santa's Slay
A thousand years ago, an angel challenged the devil's son to a curling match. Since Satan's son Santa Claus, lost, he was forced to be nice and give joy for the next ten centuries. With his time up, Santa (Bill Goldberg. Yes, the wrestler Bill Goldberg.) is released from his duties and goes on a killing spree, spreading holiday fear.
Seriously, that's the plot.
Santa's Slay definitely falls into the horror-comedy genre. It is full of ridiculous deaths, nudity, foul-mouthed elderly and all the laughs you could ever want or need.
The opening scene is James Caan, Chris Kattan, Rebecca Gayheart, Fran Drescher, and others at Christmas dinner. Santa bursts through the chimney, and the rest of the scene becomes a bloodbath of the most famous people in the movie.
The rest of the movie follows Nicholas Yuleson - yes, that is the character's name - and his girlfriend, Mary (Emilie de Raven, aka Claire from "Lost") as the try to survive the rest of Christmas day. Nicholas, played by Douglas Smith (I haven't heard from him, either) is possibly the worst actor I have ever seen, maybe even worse than Silent Night. You just want him to die just so you don't have to watch him anymore. Getting back to the movie...
Nicholas's Grandpa, with the character name of Grandpa, is the angel that sent Santa to his thousand-year curse, and has been preparing for the night Santa goes crazy. (Insert Weird Al song here)
Only 78 minutes long, this holiday movie is perfect to watch if you're looking for a break between crying during "A Wonderful Life" and before you get hammered with your family. It is a hilariously craptastic film, and is definitely worth a watch. Exploding presents, a police captain named Cauk (pronounced cock), and the hot girl from "Lost" await.
Seriously, that's the plot.
Santa's Slay definitely falls into the horror-comedy genre. It is full of ridiculous deaths, nudity, foul-mouthed elderly and all the laughs you could ever want or need.
The opening scene is James Caan, Chris Kattan, Rebecca Gayheart, Fran Drescher, and others at Christmas dinner. Santa bursts through the chimney, and the rest of the scene becomes a bloodbath of the most famous people in the movie.
The rest of the movie follows Nicholas Yuleson - yes, that is the character's name - and his girlfriend, Mary (Emilie de Raven, aka Claire from "Lost") as the try to survive the rest of Christmas day. Nicholas, played by Douglas Smith (I haven't heard from him, either) is possibly the worst actor I have ever seen, maybe even worse than Silent Night. You just want him to die just so you don't have to watch him anymore. Getting back to the movie...
Nicholas's Grandpa, with the character name of Grandpa, is the angel that sent Santa to his thousand-year curse, and has been preparing for the night Santa goes crazy. (Insert Weird Al song here)
Only 78 minutes long, this holiday movie is perfect to watch if you're looking for a break between crying during "A Wonderful Life" and before you get hammered with your family. It is a hilariously craptastic film, and is definitely worth a watch. Exploding presents, a police captain named Cauk (pronounced cock), and the hot girl from "Lost" await.
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