Brain Damage is about Brian, is a normal kid living in the city. He has a great girlfriend, his roommate is his brother and his life is normal.
The is until a purple slug shaped like a penis sneaks into his room. The slug's mouth expands like a snake and sticks a needle into Brian's brain, causing him to hallucinate and have weird dreams by sticking blue liquid inside him.
The slug's name is Alymer, and he got to Brian by escaping an old couple's apartment who fem him animal brains and put him in water to keep him weak. Alymer squirts blue liquid to get Brian's brain addicted to it. Get it? They are almost the same word? Anyways, Alymer does so that he can use Brain to eat other people's brains of course!
So Brian goes on acid trips and leads Alymer is unsuspecting people to consume their brains. Brian tries to stop, but relaizes he is addicted to the blue liquid. Oh, and of course Alymer talks and sounds like a British cartoon character.
Another cult classic of bad movies, "Brain Damage" is full of ridiculous death scenes, including a moment when a girl goes down on Brian in an alley, and Alymer jumps out of his zipper. Fantastic. Also ridiculous is a random scene where a really buff guy takes a shower for about 20 minutes, it really makes no sense.
The film has awful special effects and even worse acting, but there is the usual gore, sex and mayhem like any other bad movie. It's worth the watch.
Saturday, June 16, 2007
Troll 2
The Waits are going on a family vacation. But instead of beautiful Hawaii or Florida, they decide to house-sit in a small town called Nilbog. Yup, that's goblin spelled backwards - not troll, goblin.
The Waits settle in, and Joshua, the young boy of the family, is suspicious of the town. This is because his deceased Grandpa Seth keeps coming alive to give him advice and save him.
The town ends up being full of goblins, who encourage tourists todrink their chunky milk and eat their green food. If humans eat or drink Nilbog's delicacies, they become the goblin's food. But, what food? Well, half-human/half-tree food of course.
Hunger pains, popcorn and weird witches are roadblocks for the Waits, but they eventually learn they have to defeat the goblins at a mini-stonehedge by touching it and thinking happy thoughts. I guess it is like a really demented Peter Pan.
The movie is beyond bad. The dialogue is simply ridiculous. Watch for the scene in which the dad yells at Joshua for urinating on the food so his family doesn't become goblin food. The acting is awful, and it is just one of those movies that is so bad you want to watch it again and again.
Oh, and by the way, the word troll is never mentioned in the movie.
The Waits settle in, and Joshua, the young boy of the family, is suspicious of the town. This is because his deceased Grandpa Seth keeps coming alive to give him advice and save him.
The town ends up being full of goblins, who encourage tourists todrink their chunky milk and eat their green food. If humans eat or drink Nilbog's delicacies, they become the goblin's food. But, what food? Well, half-human/half-tree food of course.
Hunger pains, popcorn and weird witches are roadblocks for the Waits, but they eventually learn they have to defeat the goblins at a mini-stonehedge by touching it and thinking happy thoughts. I guess it is like a really demented Peter Pan.
The movie is beyond bad. The dialogue is simply ridiculous. Watch for the scene in which the dad yells at Joshua for urinating on the food so his family doesn't become goblin food. The acting is awful, and it is just one of those movies that is so bad you want to watch it again and again.
Oh, and by the way, the word troll is never mentioned in the movie.
Santa's Slay
A thousand years ago, an angel challenged the devil's son to a curling match. Since Satan's son Santa Claus, lost, he was forced to be nice and give joy for the next ten centuries. With his time up, Santa (Bill Goldberg. Yes, the wrestler Bill Goldberg.) is released from his duties and goes on a killing spree, spreading holiday fear.
Seriously, that's the plot.
Santa's Slay definitely falls into the horror-comedy genre. It is full of ridiculous deaths, nudity, foul-mouthed elderly and all the laughs you could ever want or need.
The opening scene is James Caan, Chris Kattan, Rebecca Gayheart, Fran Drescher, and others at Christmas dinner. Santa bursts through the chimney, and the rest of the scene becomes a bloodbath of the most famous people in the movie.
The rest of the movie follows Nicholas Yuleson - yes, that is the character's name - and his girlfriend, Mary (Emilie de Raven, aka Claire from "Lost") as the try to survive the rest of Christmas day. Nicholas, played by Douglas Smith (I haven't heard from him, either) is possibly the worst actor I have ever seen, maybe even worse than Silent Night. You just want him to die just so you don't have to watch him anymore. Getting back to the movie...
Nicholas's Grandpa, with the character name of Grandpa, is the angel that sent Santa to his thousand-year curse, and has been preparing for the night Santa goes crazy. (Insert Weird Al song here)
Only 78 minutes long, this holiday movie is perfect to watch if you're looking for a break between crying during "A Wonderful Life" and before you get hammered with your family. It is a hilariously craptastic film, and is definitely worth a watch. Exploding presents, a police captain named Cauk (pronounced cock), and the hot girl from "Lost" await.
Seriously, that's the plot.
Santa's Slay definitely falls into the horror-comedy genre. It is full of ridiculous deaths, nudity, foul-mouthed elderly and all the laughs you could ever want or need.
The opening scene is James Caan, Chris Kattan, Rebecca Gayheart, Fran Drescher, and others at Christmas dinner. Santa bursts through the chimney, and the rest of the scene becomes a bloodbath of the most famous people in the movie.
The rest of the movie follows Nicholas Yuleson - yes, that is the character's name - and his girlfriend, Mary (Emilie de Raven, aka Claire from "Lost") as the try to survive the rest of Christmas day. Nicholas, played by Douglas Smith (I haven't heard from him, either) is possibly the worst actor I have ever seen, maybe even worse than Silent Night. You just want him to die just so you don't have to watch him anymore. Getting back to the movie...
Nicholas's Grandpa, with the character name of Grandpa, is the angel that sent Santa to his thousand-year curse, and has been preparing for the night Santa goes crazy. (Insert Weird Al song here)
Only 78 minutes long, this holiday movie is perfect to watch if you're looking for a break between crying during "A Wonderful Life" and before you get hammered with your family. It is a hilariously craptastic film, and is definitely worth a watch. Exploding presents, a police captain named Cauk (pronounced cock), and the hot girl from "Lost" await.
Thursday, May 24, 2007
Silent Night, Deadly Night 2
The reason I saw this movie came from Collegehumor , after they showed a clip of this film that was simply hilarious. This movie is definitely craptastic.
Silent Night, Deadly Night 2 is mostly clips of the original film, but focused on Ricky, the older brother of the killer in the first film. Ricky talks to a shrink, Dr. Henry Bloom, and even though this is the 13th person he has talked to, Ricky decides to open up to Dr. Bloom.
Like I said, most of the movie is from the first film, with Ricky, even though being a baby, claims to remember a man dressed up as Santa killing his dad and raping his mom.
Ricky and his brother are sent to an orphanage where a nun Mother Superior terrorized the boys. After Ricky's brother got older, they put him to work. Doing what? Well, being a mall Santa of course! What? Why would they have him play something that killed his parents?
Anyways, Ricky explains his childhood, and the boys kill "sinners." Really, just anyone that annoys them or has sex. One of the best scenes is where a man and woman are in the middle of the woods. Apparently, the woman went with her boyfriend in the middle of nowhere, then got pissed that he wanted to mess around. What a cock tease. So, the boyfriend gets pissed and drinks another beer. Ricky gets into the car and runs him over about fifty times. The woman comes over and says: "Thank you." What? He just murdered your boyfriend. Ricky then takes the car and leaves her in the woods with a dead body.
Before that though, they mostly feature Ricky as a 10 year old. He says "My dad died five years later.." Ricky is now probably 25. Simply hilarious.
So Ricky breaks out and goes on a killing spree of his own, out for revenge to kill Mother Superior. Will he get there? You'll have to watch.
The movie is hilarious. The movie was said to be made in only 10 days, and you can see why. The acting is simply terrible, and probably the worst I have ever seen. Ricky is the worst actor, and really didn't do much acting after this.
Along with that there are plot holes, shots were the crew is completely visible, and the famous scene of "Garbage day!"
This is worth a watch. This website is all about movies that are so bad they are funny, and this is one of the best. Find it on YouTube or your local video store, because it is damn funny.
Silent Night, Deadly Night 2 is mostly clips of the original film, but focused on Ricky, the older brother of the killer in the first film. Ricky talks to a shrink, Dr. Henry Bloom, and even though this is the 13th person he has talked to, Ricky decides to open up to Dr. Bloom.
Like I said, most of the movie is from the first film, with Ricky, even though being a baby, claims to remember a man dressed up as Santa killing his dad and raping his mom.
Ricky and his brother are sent to an orphanage where a nun Mother Superior terrorized the boys. After Ricky's brother got older, they put him to work. Doing what? Well, being a mall Santa of course! What? Why would they have him play something that killed his parents?
Anyways, Ricky explains his childhood, and the boys kill "sinners." Really, just anyone that annoys them or has sex. One of the best scenes is where a man and woman are in the middle of the woods. Apparently, the woman went with her boyfriend in the middle of nowhere, then got pissed that he wanted to mess around. What a cock tease. So, the boyfriend gets pissed and drinks another beer. Ricky gets into the car and runs him over about fifty times. The woman comes over and says: "Thank you." What? He just murdered your boyfriend. Ricky then takes the car and leaves her in the woods with a dead body.
Before that though, they mostly feature Ricky as a 10 year old. He says "My dad died five years later.." Ricky is now probably 25. Simply hilarious.
So Ricky breaks out and goes on a killing spree of his own, out for revenge to kill Mother Superior. Will he get there? You'll have to watch.
The movie is hilarious. The movie was said to be made in only 10 days, and you can see why. The acting is simply terrible, and probably the worst I have ever seen. Ricky is the worst actor, and really didn't do much acting after this.
Along with that there are plot holes, shots were the crew is completely visible, and the famous scene of "Garbage day!"
This is worth a watch. This website is all about movies that are so bad they are funny, and this is one of the best. Find it on YouTube or your local video store, because it is damn funny.
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